A lot of conversations in my classroom go something like this:
Me: Johnny, why are you taking your shoes off?
Johnny: Look, Miss Laura! Froggy! (Pointing to the calendar on the wall behind me.)
Children are masters of diversion. They learn early at a young age that interactions are all about attention. Sometimes this means pretending you don’t have their attention, other times it means drawing your attention away from them.
Frustrating? You bet, but understanding the attention of other people is an important developmental milestone. It is the foundation of perspective taking and empathy and will help your child grow into a socialized adult.
This doesn’t mean you need to let your kiddo run the show. When you find yourself having a conversation like the one above, do not immediately acknowledge what they are trying to draw your attention to. Ensure that you have your child’s attention then, gently but firmly, require acknowledgement of your statement/question/etc. After the conversational exchange you started has finished, return to the child’s topic of conversation. This shows them that you did hear them and that you are willing to let them lead a conversation, but only when they have followed the rules of polite conversation.
Good luck!
Feel free to comment on this post with questions or thoughts.
